I’ve been navigating challenges with my son, Cairo, at school—though more accurately, I’ve been addressing the school’s struggles in understanding, educating, and acclimating him to his environment.
Recently, during a powerful webinar hosted by the Michigan Alliance for Families, I learned about Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS). This framework shifted my perspective on how behaviors are often met with punishment instead of curiosity about the underlying need. Instead of reacting to behaviors, PBIS emphasizes discovering why the behavior is happening and implementing interventions or teaching replacement behaviors to truly resolve the issue
The Power of Understanding Behavior
The webinar covered tools like Functional Behavior Assessments (FBAs) and how their results can be used in Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) or to create Behavior Intervention Plans (BIPs). We delved into the functions of behavior—whether they were automatic (sensory), attention-seeking, tangible (to obtain something), or escape-related. Once the function is understood, appropriate interventions can be chosen:
- Skill-Based Interventions: Teaching a child the skills they need to address the root cause of the behavior.
- Antecedent-Based Interventions: Identifying patterns by analyzing what happens before and after a behavior.
- Consequence-Based Interventions: Evaluating whether the consequences of a behavior reinforce it or help resolve it.
Each of these interventions is tailored to meet a child’s specific needs. No one-size-fits-all solution exists because every child’s circumstances and triggers are unique.
When Consequences Reinforce Behavior
Earlier this year, I noticed a drastic regression in Cairo’s skills within just two months. My concerns grew when his teacher began sending home daily notes reporting that he wasn’t attending his General Education class because he “refused.” This pattern revealed a larger issue: Cairo had barely been to General Ed all year.
When I inquired further, the teacher explained, “When he doesn’t want to go, I re-engage him with one-on-one time and give him his popcorn.” While well-meaning, this response was inadvertently reinforcing Cairo’s refusal to attend class. By providing his favorite food and undivided attention from a beloved teacher, the “consequence” became a reward. This incentive made the resource room far more appealing than General Ed.
Once I was able to discuss this with the entire team, they supported the teacher in understanding the need for a less attractive option if he stayed behind from General Education. By eliminating the popcorn and shifting the activities so they didn’t involve one-on-one face time with the teacher, General Ed became the more appealing option. Within a week, Cairo began attending his General Ed class daily. This small but intentional change reinforced the importance of creating consequences that align with desired outcomes while still honoring the child’s needs.
When Automatic Behaviors Need Awareness
Many of us are familiar with “stimming,” a sensory behavior often associated with Autism. While stimming can provide comfort and regulation, it can sometimes signal overstimulation or distress, as was the case with Cairo.
Cairo hums and flips his favorite sensory toy, “George,” for comfort. But when his humming grows louder and more frequent, it’s a sign that he’s overwhelmed. Instead of letting the behavior persist unconsciously, I gently bring it into his awareness.
For example, I noticed that Cairo’s stimming often intensified when he was placed in front of a flat screen or tablet in the classroom. While some of the videos played would have been deemed educational, without engagement, they were background noise and did not trigger his awareness. Additionally, the dramatic lighting from tablets and electronics is studied to rewire our brains; without highlighting the educational component, the activity actually becomes downright harmful and works quickly to aid in the regression of various types of skills.
Over time, I realized that simply changing the video to something calming, like Wheels on the Bus, wasn’t enough. The key was actively engaging Cairo in the activity. When I sang along and danced with him, it engaged multiple brain centers and his senses, pulling him out of the automatic behavior and back into the present moment. This approach significantly reduced his need to stim and helped him feel more regulated. Without that level of engagement, even calming videos alone wouldn’t fully address the overstimulation he was experiencing.
This insight underscored the importance of meaningful engagement as the thing that keeps even our littles mindful and present. When children like Cairo are actively engaged with their environment—whether through singing, dancing, or hands-on activities—their behaviors often reflect a sense of calm and focus.
A Case-by-Case Approach
During the webinar, I learned that behaviors often have overlapping functions and require multiple interventions. This affirmed my belief that every child’s needs must be addressed individually, considering their developmental, social, and emotional context.
As one of the webinar leaders wisely shared, “The goal is not the lack of problem behavior. The goal is for the child to engage with learning and their peers.”
Focusing solely on eliminating behaviors misses the point: behavior is a form of communication. By understanding its purpose, we can resolve behaviors naturally and with less resistance, creating a more supportive environment for both children and educators.
Behavior as a Bridge
Cairo’s journey—and mine as his advocate—has taught me that behavior is not just an obstacle to overcome but, as this blog’s mission states, when polarized, it becomes a bridge to understanding our children’s needs. Behavior offers us a pathway to see the world through their eyes and uncover what they may not yet have the words or tools to express.
When we shift from reacting to behavior to interpreting it, we open the door to solutions that honor their individuality as opposed to punishing their differences. Through tools like FBAs, PBIS, and thoughtful interventions, we can ensure that every child feels seen, supported, and capable of thriving in their environment. The key lies in listening to what their behavior is truly saying—and responding with empathy, patience, and a commitment to understanding.