As a mother, I want my son Cairo to be in environments where he can thrive—where his unique abilities are recognized and nurtured. For children with developmental disabilities like Down Syndrome and Autism, the stakes are even higher, as the age of “absorbency” can be unclear and differ for each child. For this reason, every moment becomes a critical opportunity to build the tools they’ll carry for life. My son Cairo’s recent experiences in his classroom illustrate just how vital it is to honor these sensitive periods and provide the least restrictive environment.
The Absorbent Mind and the Power of Mimicry
Dr. Maria Montessori described the early years of a child’s life as the absorbent mind stage, where children unconsciously soak in information from their environment. During this period, behaviors like mimicry are a natural learning mechanism. Cairo, for example, has always been a keen observer. When he began mimicking the stronger stimming behavior of a classmate with a more severe expression of Autism, it became clear he was not only absorbing what he saw but also adapting to the norms of his immediate environment.
Mimicry during this sensitive period can be beneficial when a child is surrounded by positive models—such as peers who engage in verbal communication, cooperative play, and meaningful social interactions. However, when the environment fails to provide these models, it can hinder development. In Cairo’s case, the resource room, while well-intentioned, is limiting his ability to learn and grow in ways that the General Education classroom could provide.
The Absorbent Mind at Work: A Double-Edged Sword
Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we spent time with friends, and I noticed a shift in Cairo’s behavior. Where he once used his substitute language or silence in moments of uncertainty, I now see him engaging in more severe stimming. This stimming has progressed to laying on the floor and grunting—behavior that is new for him and uncharacteristic of how he previously interacted with peers. While stimming is a natural part of self-regulation for many children, this newfound behavior seems to be learned, likely mimicked from his environment in the resource room.
Cairo’s absorbent mind, so beautifully designed to soak in and replicate his surroundings, is unintentionally being exposed to behaviors that widen the gap between him and his neurotypical peers. He no longer blends into social settings the way he once did, sitting among his friends and engaging as best he could. Instead, he finds himself off to the side, laying on the floor and grunting. This regression in socialization skills is heartbreaking to witness, not because of the stimming itself but because it reflects a loss of tools in his “toolbox”—tools he once used to navigate his world with confidence.
This shift isn’t just about behavior; it’s about connection. Cairo longs to be part of the group, to interact and engage with his friends the way he so deeply desires. But as his learned behaviors create a larger divide, he feels more isolated, and the weight of that exclusion takes a toll. He becomes visibly sad and wants to leave, retreating from an environment where he feels unable to interact in the way he knows he should.
This experience underscores the importance of providing Cairo with a stable, inclusive environment that prioritizes positive peer modeling and engaging interactions. The behaviors he adopts in the resource room aren’t just harmless mimicry—they’re shaping how he sees himself and how he relates to others. Without the right tools in his sensory and social “toolbox,” Cairo risks not only falling further behind his neurotypical peers but also losing confidence in his ability to connect, learn, and thrive.
This is yet another reminder of how critical the least restrictive environment is for Cairo’s development. By keeping him in a setting where he can observe and learn from peers who model positive behaviors, we’re not only honoring his sensitive period but also giving him the best possible foundation for growth. Inclusion isn’t just a principle—it’s a lifeline to the social and emotional connections that every child deserves.
Why Inclusion Matters: The Least Restrictive Environment
The concept of the least restrictive environment (LRE) is a cornerstone of Special Education law. It emphasizes that children with disabilities should be educated alongside their neurotypical peers whenever possible. The goal isn’t to erase differences but to create opportunities for children to learn from one another.
Cairo’s resource room, in contrast, is functioning as the most restrictive environment. Instead of expanding his skills, it’s reinforcing behaviors that widen the gap between him and his peers of similar age. For instance:
- Cairo was counting to 100 last year comfortably, yet the resource room is now sending home activities capped at counting to 10 and repetitively playing preschool age songs like Seven Steps, which however lovely of a song it is, focuses on counting to 7 . This not only fails to challenge him but is regressing his progress, as he no longer puts “twenty, thirty or forty” in front of his numbers, he only wants to count to 10.
- Cairo is often given a tablet in the resource room—a tool that has previously been associated with overstimulation, increased stimming for him and a disinterest in any other activities . While tablets can be useful, without mindful engagement, they become a crutch rather than a bridge.
The Sensory and Motor Toolbox
During these early years, children build what Montessori researchers refer to as their sensory and motor toolbox. This foundational toolkit includes skills like self-regulation, sensory integration, and motor coordination—all of which influence future learning. A child whose toolbox is limited will face greater challenges in mastering complex skills later in life. By restricting Cairo’s learning opportunities, the resource room is shrinking his palette of “crayons” rather than sharpening and adding to them.
For children like Cairo, this is a critical time to:
- Develop a stable language environment where communication skills can flourish.
- Be immersed in positive peer modeling to refine social and behavioral cues.
- Engage in meaningful, hands-on learning activities that build independence and confidence.
When Cairo is placed in the General Education classroom, he benefits from observing and imitating the behaviors of peers who are verbal and socially engaged. These interactions encourage him to practice skills like turn-taking, communication, and self-regulation—tools that will serve him for a lifetime. This experience is even more important for Cairo, because as an only child, school is his only opportunity to learn the skills that only similar age peers can teach one another.
The Gift of Sensitive Periods
Montessori philosophy teaches us that sensitive periods are windows of opportunity when a child is especially receptive to learning specific skills. For Cairo, this is a sensitive period for language, social development, and independence. If we miss these critical windows, we risk leaving gaps in his development that will be harder to fill later.
By keeping him in the General Education classroom with appropriate support, we honor these sensitive periods and provide him with an environment where he can thrive. Inclusion isn’t about pretending differences don’t exist; it’s about ensuring that every child has access to the tools and opportunities they need to reach their full potential.
The Weight of Two Weeks: A Window into What’s Possible
When I removed Cairo from school for two weeks and engaged him in an enriching environment at home, his stimming nearly disappeared, and his participation in learning flourished. This highlights how much his current environment is contributing to the behaviors the school is struggling to manage.
As wonderful and life-affirming as those two weeks were in resolving some of the regression I saw in my son, it came at a significant cost—our livelihood. As a single mother, the rigorous schedule I maintained to ensure Cairo was engaged all day left no room for managing the finances, maintaining the household, or even attending to basic self-care. The hard truth is that I had to choose Cairo’s well-being over the security of our family, a choice I cannot afford to make long-term.
This experience gave me a sobering realization: it underscored the critical importance of FAPE—Free Appropriate Public Education. This foundational Special Education law guarantees that students with disabilities are entitled to programs and services that meet their unique needs and provide genuine educational benefits. Furthermore, the law states that if a school lacks the necessary resources, they are obligated to secure them, even if that requires partnering with other schools or districts.
As much as I would love to homeschool Cairo or enroll him in a private school with specialized resources, my life circumstances do not allow for either option. Instead, I am eager to work collaboratively with his educational team to create an environment that mirrors the progress I saw during those two weeks at home. Together, I believe we can craft an even more enriching and supportive educational experience for Cairo within his current placement, ensuring he continues to thrive without sacrificing the security and well-being of our family.
Charting a Course Through the Fog
- Advocate for Inclusion: I will push for Cairo to spend more time in the General Education classroom, where he can learn from positive peer models.
- Limit Restrictive Practices: I will adjust his IEP to reduce reliance on tablets and other overstimulating tools in favor of hands-on, engaging activities.
- Build Incrementally on Existing Skills: I will ensure that Cairo has a curriculum that will build on his existing skills and progress them forward rather than solely revisiting concepts he has already mastered. This ensures he continues to grow and develop new tools for learning.
- Engage with Educators: I will continue to partner with teachers and other school staff dedicated to Cairo’s learning experience to create a plan that balances academic growth with sensory and social needs.
Inclusion as a Path to Flourishing
When we prioritize inclusion, we’re not just meeting a legal requirement; we’re investing in our children’s future. By ensuring they learns alongside peers in a supportive and enriching environment, we’re equipping them with the tools to flourish—not just in the fog of today but in the clarity of tomorrow.
Cairo’s story is a reminder of the power of advocacy, the importance of sensitive periods, and the role we play as parents in shaping the environments that shape our children. Let’s build those bridges together, one challenge at a time.